When you told your best friend that you were planning on getting a divorce, the look on their face was one you couldn’t really describe. They sighed and said they knew what you’d be going through and were there to help. It was almost like they were going to go into battle with you and telling you to prepare for the worst.

You knew that their divorce was drawn out and a true disaster. They fought in the courts for months and spent thousands on their child custody case. You know that your divorce could end up the same way, and it creates a pit in your stomach.

Not all divorces are the same, though. In fact, any advice that your friend gives you could be detrimental to your divorce, depending on what it is. The truth is that most divorces are relatively smooth. People work through their issues outside court and come to agreements. Some people go through mediation or arbitration. Others find that they can come to agreements by talking with one another and move on without much support at all.

How can you make sure your divorce is a simpler divorce?

It’s a good idea to sit down with your spouse and talk about your divorce first. For example, if you haven’t yet, see if there are particular things that you’re looking for in a settlement. You may be surprised to see that you’re both willing to settle for a similar amount and can easily negotiate. You might also find that there are one or two issues that you need support with, and that’s okay, too. Being reasonable is going to help you resolve your divorce much more easily. If your spouse is in agreement, then you’re in a great position to move forward with a collaborative kind of divorce.

Your attorney is there to guide you

Your attorney is there to tell you the realities about your situation and to help you through your divorce in the easiest way possible. The point of working with your attorney is to make sure you have the facts and legal support that you need.

You don’t need to build up an idea of a frantic, frustrating divorce if that’s not how your situation is. Some people have easy divorces. Others need some help. A few need a lot of help and deal with long, drawn-out cases. Everyone is different.