Many changes occur when you are going through a divorce. People tend to focus on the ones like the property division and child custody matters. What most people don’t take the time to think about is how the divorce is going to impact their mental health as time progresses.
There are many reasons why you are going to go through some psychological trauma even if you were the one who initiated the divorce. This surprises many people because they assume that if they file, they will always be overjoyed about the new start.
Losing the benefits of marriage
Even if you and your ex didn’t get along, psyhologically, you might have always appreciated the fact that you did have someone at home. This can be hard to get past when you come home to an empty house. Even if you have children, the lack of adult support and companionship might plague you. Sometimes, the loss of someone to care for can be the biggest challenge. Adults can thrive on their ability to do this, so losing a person whom you provided care for can cause mental trauma.
Losing your identity
Some married individuals, often women, are wrapped up in their marital identity. When the marriage ends, some women will automatically become focused on their identity as a mother, but for those who don’t, the end of the marriage leaves them searching for an identity. Working with a therapist might help them to realize that they don’t truly need an identity as it’s a construct and no roles determine who we truly are.
Focusing on moving forward
One of the most powerful ways that you can reclaim your life after a divorce is to focus on the future instead of living in the past. This gives you the freedom to determine what you are going to do with your life instead of allowing what happened in your marriage to control it. Even though this can be rather complex, it will likely help you if you can sit down and make a solid plan to help you accomplish the goals you set.
As you are going through the process of divorcing your ex, make sure that you are thinking about your future. You don’t need to add any financial stress to the situation, so try to walk away with a property division settlement that puts your budget in good shape. This might mean that you have to part with some assets that you are emotionally attached to, but there is a chance that it could benefit your future so think carefully about your options.
