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When child-rearing differences threaten co-parenting success

Maybe the clash between parenting styles was part of what led to a Michigan divorce, or the differences may simply add to the current difficulties getting along. Whatever the case, co-parenting will not get any easier while mom and dad allow the conflicts to continue. People often have a deep emotional tie to the way that they parent their children, though, and that may make compromise seem impossible.

According to GoodTherapy.org, rather than finding fault, co-parents may improve their relationship by analyzing it from both sides. For example, a mother’s approach could have more to do with a response to her own childhood experiences rather than being rooted in conscious decisions. A closer look at this possibility may help to identify which elements are serving the child’s best interests and which are based on the past.

Parents who are able to compare what they do that they believe is working may be able to find some common ground between them. Schedules and routines help children adjust better to the new circumstances, so the more that can be carried over from one household to the other, the easier it may be for the child.

When these methods are not eliminating the inconsistencies and calming the disputes, the Child Mind Institute suggests that parents take a scientific approach. Rather than rejecting a technique outright, they would agree to both commit to it for a trial period. Then they could discuss whether it is working for their child, or if they should consider a different tactic. If parents cannot get along well enough to work together, experts often recommend therapy or mediation.

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Lorrie J. Zahodnic

"I will hold you up until you can stand on your own two feet."

Lorrie J. Zahodnic, P.C. has provided skilled and compassionate legal guidance to Michiganders in family law matters for over 20 years.

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