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Separating your feelings from your child’s during divorce

The way your Michigan divorce affects your own life may easily become a major focus during the months immediately before and after you or your spouse files the paperwork to begin the proceedings. As a parent, you may also worry over how your child’s life will be affected, and how you will deal with the loss of contact that is typically a part of co-parenting. At the Law Office of Lorrie J. Zahodnic, P.C., we often work with parents who have concerns about custody outcomes.

Even if you and your spouse are able to come to an amicable agreement and believe that joint physical custody is best, you may still have unresolved conflict between the two of you that may spill over into your relationship with your child after the divorce. However, according to Psych Central, confusing your own feelings about the divorce with those your child is experiencing could lead to harmful psychological conflict for both of you.

You and your spouse divorce each other, but your child does not divorce either one of you, and for him or her, the other parent continues to be an important person, regardless of the amount of time spent together. Your child may even want to live with the other parent. In identity development, a child naturally identifies with the parent of the same sex, so any negative comments about that parent may be taken personally. Similarly, if your child adopts traits of one parent, the other parent may find it difficult to disassociate the actions of the child from the parent he or she is imitating.

Any of these situations may be distressing, and the solutions require self-awareness on your part to prevent friction in your parent-child relationship. Choosing to set boundaries rather than give in to guilt or impose control may be helpful in adjusting to the new circumstances. More information about children and divorce is available on our web page.

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Lorrie J. Zahodnic

"I will hold you up until you can stand on your own two feet."

Lorrie J. Zahodnic, P.C. has provided skilled and compassionate legal guidance to Michiganders in family law matters for over 20 years.

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